Here Comes the Sun
I’ve been finding it rather difficult to write lately. Perhaps because I feel as if I have nothing new or profound to say, or because of the pressure I apply to write something valuable and “of note” if I am to hit publish and send words out into the world. Within the last couple months, I’ve been more excited about life than I have been in a long time. But I feel like holding the moments and memories close to me. Like I stated in the last newsletter, I’m still trying to strike a balance between creating and writing as much as I dream to, while also allowing myself to simply exist and enjoy my life - rather than intellectualizing and analyzing everything that goes on. I’ve learned to *finally* allow some things to just be, rather than applying pressure on the outcome. I’ve accepted that while some things may go on, some things must come to an end. And reversely, taking note of the abundance of beauty in going along with the unknown, and finding out for yourself what’s to come. I feel more myself as every day goes on - and the lessons that continue to come along with the days seem to never end. As does the amount of happiness and love.
My best friend bought us floor seats to SZA for my birthday, and we had the time of our lives belting our hearts out to SZA’s magical tunes on Saturday night. I went into the night slightly anxious - and we talked about it before - the highly likely moment we awaited where we both would tear up while singing along to SZA’s heart string pulling melodies. But it didn’t happen. Every time I looked at her, she was beaming with joy, as was I. There’s something disgustingly therapeutic about scream-singing with thousands of other women in a sold out stadium, knowing that each and every one of us has a story (if not multiple stories) of our own. It reminds me of the countless creatives who remind us that if anything, our stories of love and loss bring us together. I came home feeling a whole lot lighter, refreshed, and relieved. Not to mention a bit of back pain, my ears ringing until Sunday morning, my feet screaming at me for wearing heels, while anticipating a hoarse voice. With a slight Taco Bell craving. I sometimes forget that it doesn’t take much to feel an overwhelming sense of being alive - and that there are moments throughout the days that call for a moment to pause. And if not, there are times where we must seek it out ourselves.
The sun is beginning to tease us, and with that comes a newfound appreciation for a fresh day. The way the sun softly wakes me up through the blinds, and the silly excitement I get while contemplating making an iced coffee in the morning rather than hot. The birds chirping heard through the windows, making filtering through emails a little less dreadful. Cloudless skies when I leave the gym, my favorite playlist blasting through my headphones, endorphins making me feel as though I’ll achieve anything and everything I want in this life. When I open the Instagram app and every 20 something is looking and feeling their best, sitting on a rooftop bar, giggling away about the name popping up on their phone, or lack thereof.
The world is ours.
Here’s to the endless possibilities that come with the arrival of the sun.
With love,
Nivita